


An Orderly Splatocalypse

by beforeyagogo



Category: Splatoon
Genre: Angst, Dystopia, F/F, Heavy Angst, I can’t write angst tho so maybe you’ll be okay, Major character death - Freeform, Pearlina, Pearlina angst, Pearlina doesn’t work out I’m sorry, Sanitized character, Splatocalypse, actually I’m more sorry for myself, bitter lesbians, emotionally prepare yourself, final Splatfest, im sorry, it’s my otp too fellas, major sanitized character, reminder: someone gets sanitized, still kinda pearlina focused, team Order wins, this will not have a happy ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-23 04:29:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19143589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beforeyagogo/pseuds/beforeyagogo
Summary: When Team Order wins the final Splatfest, a certain telephone comes back to bring order to Inkopolis... but at what cost? As relationships fall apart and governments get toppled, who will survive? And will Tartar’s plan result in order... or chaos?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to hell, fellas! Strap in and prepare yourselves for a wild ride because whoo boy it’s about to get messed up. Stay fresh, if you can! ;)

** “Bada bada bada bada...” **

 

** “Buda buda buda buda...” **

 

The two idols locked eyes for a brief moment, teeth gritting. This was the most intense Splatfest yet, and there was tension that you could cut with a knife. The feeling of doom filled the room as the results flooded the screen.

 

“.....Order wins.” Marina stated, voice wavering. She wasn’t even excited. She saw the look of hurt in Pearl’s eyes. This was it. The end. And her girlfriend stared at her like she’d just killed a puppy.

 

A deep inhale, a deep exhale. “Wow... that’s it, I guess. It’s over. Splatfests are _way_ too chaotic.” Pearl sighed. 

 

“...Oh well..... it shouldn’t mean anything. I just wouldn’t be able to handle chaos... the most chaos I can handle is you.” Marina chuckled and smiled softly. The mood was in desperate need of some lightening.

 

The small Inkling smiled softly back. “Well, I’ll take that as a compliment.” The banter only slightly helped. 

 

Not a minute later, the ground began to rumble. “P-Pearl?” Marina stuttered. 

 

“Marina?” Pearl said, wide-eyed. 

 

A loud crash. Even from their studio, the girls heard the screams. They saw, from the camera, the horror behind them.

 

Commander Tartar was rising from the ground. 

 

“IT SEEMS ORDER HAS RISEN AGAIN! GOODBYE, **STUPID CEPHALOPODS!** ” The telephone’s ‘voice’ boomed. 

 

_“What have you done?”_ Pearl whispered, voice cracking. It was the most vulnerability she’d shown on camera ever. One single phrase broke Marina’s hearts into a billion pieces.

 

And then the world went black.


	2. Prologue Part II- To Begin An End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Tartar attacking the city, chaos seems to be reigning over order. What can one small pop star princess do to save as many people as she can? And what will be the aftermath of all this damage?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo I’m still torn up by this splatfest!! So Chapter 2 time woohoo!!! We’re not even in the real deep shit yet. I really hope you’re buckled in because after this real stuff’s gonna go down!

Pearl shot up from her seat, completely petrified. The studio’s glass broke as some weird goo was fired inside but she didn’t even notice, nor did she notice the very passed out Marina beginning to change colors. She didn’t notice anything other than the fact that the world was in disarray and this was _not_  the chaos she’d fought for.

 

“RUN! EVERYONE RUN! THIS IS NOT A DRILL, _OBVIOUSLY!_ ” Pearl shouted into the camera. 

 

The squid girl wracked her brain for possible shelters. “There’s- there’s a sewer drain in between Ammo Knights and Grizzco. JUMP IN IT. You should be kinda safe there. Uh, if you’re afraid of sewers, there’s a barred off area past the studio that leads underground. Go there.” 

 

She panted, out of breath. That was when she noticed the sickly-looking Marina, unconscious in her seat.

 

All air escaped her lungs as she took a few small steps to her partner. “MARINA! Oh cod, Reena... no no no, I.... I didn’t mean it, oh cod, Marina... Wake up please, you look... gross...” She pounded her fists on Marina’s expensive DJ equipment. 

 

“Cod _DAMN_  it! COD DAMN IT! THIS GOOP CARP IS SEEMINGLY HARMFUL, WHATEVER IT IS! YOU HAVE TO RUN!” The exasperated squid shouted, tears dripping down her pale cheeks.

 

Of course, the stupid scripted subtitles were still playing on the screen. And barely anyone could hear Pearl’s shouting voice, even through all the speakers lining the buildings outside. _Everyone_  was screaming, so Pearl’s got drowned out. However, some smart squids (and octos) noticed the sewer drain and shady gate and dove through them.

 

For everyone else, though, it was anarchy. Hundreds of scared citizens ran meaninglessly, goo shot at them from the totalitarian telephone Tartar in the sky. All those who were shot at instantly fell to the ground, slowly changing in hue. Pearl watched on in horror.

 

A young man in a bright orange vest sobbed over the green-and-blue body of a little girl with braided tentacles on the ground. Crusty Sean’s truck was toppled on its side. A toddler cried for her mom, an older man tripped and instantly got shot.

 

So many people dead/dying/whatever that goo makes people, so much destruction. Pearl couldn’t take it. She grabbed the unconscious Marina and barged out of the studio.

 

Of course, the gate to the Deepsea Metro was closest to their location, so she did something slightly inhumane and rolled Marina’s body down the ramp to the underground. “Sorry,” she thought.

 

After taking care of the essentials, she shouted out the same messages over and over again, herding people to the Metro and Octo Valley. Neither were ideal places to be, but they were probably better than Inkopolis in that moment.

 

Her heart rate was through the roof. As she was herding people into Octo Valley, a familiar woman in a kimono popped up from the sewer grate. 

 

“What the shell is going o—“ she demanded, then tilted her head a few inches up and saw an evil telephone spewing gross goo across the city. 

 

Marie Cuttlefish sighed and shook her head. “I’ll keep watch on the citizens in the Valley with Callie. You should—“

 

“Keep an eye on the Metro, I know. You need to get back down there. I’ll head to the Metro.” Pearl frowned. Was this life now? Hiding underground? How did her whole world change in such a short amount of time?

 

Most of the noise had dulled down since most of Inkopolis’ population was passed out and gross green and everyone else was underground. Most of the noise, except for quieter sobbing coming from the shadows.

 

It was the guy in the vest. Pearl knew she shouldn’t be distracted by such a sound when there were a hundred others doing the same thing, feeling the same loss, but she couldn’t help herself. She walked over.

 

The man hiccuped. “M-my niece. She’s only eight, she.... likes making shapes in the clouds. Cod...” His tears clouded up the bright green snorkel mask on his face.

 

Pearl never really knew what to say in situations like this. “I know how you feel, my girlfriend, she...”

 

For the first time, the guy looked up at her. He blinked a few times, recognizing her. “We’re fucked, aren’t we?”

 

Pearl had no words. She just helped the man up, who then picked up his niece, and walked them to the Metro. 

 

As she feared, this was only the beginning of their suffering. 


End file.
